Complaining?
We use the word
“complain” sometimes and I wonder if its actually the best word to use.
When someone
goes to the doctor “complaining” of a back pain or stomach ache, are they
actually complaining?
One explanation
from the dictionary is express dissatisfaction or annoyance
about a state of affairs or an event.
A woman called
me recently to talk about her experience with her doctor and asked how to file
a complaint. I asked her what she hoped
would happen. She actually wanted a
relationship with her doctor and was angry that her doctor treated her cold and
distant. The caller kept apologizing for complaining. It seems the doctor moved her practice to
another part of the state and the woman still wanted to see the same
doctor. Visiting years later, she was
upset that the doctor treated her like a new patient. “I was her patient for years” the woman told
me and now she was being treated as if the doctor never knew her.
I told her
about how I have written letters to doctors about my experiences with them from
anything to - they didn’t wash their hands to something they said that was
offensive or even when I appreciate them.
Writing letters is helpful if she was willing to take the same amount of
time to write a complaint as she was to write a letter explaining what happened,
she may actual save the relationship and continue seeing the same doctor. I suggested that she doesn’t label her
experience or concerns a "complaint" and explain what happened using the facts, as she experienced them.
Stay focused on
the facts, explain how it makes you feel, and don’t be so quick to label
something negative that someone else may see as a positive.
