Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

Mother’s Day, it’s a bittersweet time. I look at my two teenagers and count my blessings. Not today, but every day. The almost perfect teenage boys who I have so much emotional attachment to I can’t believe how I swell with pride and happiness when they step into a room.

Steven was born following Michaels death. He made mothers day following his birth a time once again to rejoice. The sadness over Michaels death didn’t disappear, as I am sure so many people would have hoped would happen. It just made priorities change and brought happiness back to my life.

A year later, on the Friday before Mothers Day, I went into labor with Matthew at just 23 weeks gestation. Knowing it probably would not have a positive outcome, the young doctor told me my choices of allowing Matthew to die peacefully at this hospital where they were not equipped to treat him, but I spent 5 days there already. Or, we move to a hospital where he may have a chance but the outcome could be awful and he may lead a difficult life. I chose the latter.

Today Matt is a healthy teenager. Following his birth, I witnessed the miracles of medicine and the struggle people who work in healthcare go through to do the right thing. Mother’s Day weekend was a difficult time. I still feel sadness at beautiful weather. The first sunshine that falls upon us each spring reminds me of the trips to the hospital to visit Matthew during the summer he spent in the dark, cold hospital.

I had the opportunity to spend 5 months with the nurses and doctors who cared for him when I couldn’t be there. They gave up their Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and all the holidays throughout the year to help the children they cared for.

Yes, I know the miracles of medicine and live with that every day. Thank God..

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