No Prediction of a Sexual Predator
Evelyn Yang (married
to presidential candidate Andrew Yang) has come out about being sexually assaulted by her physician. She has a public platform so I believe it’s
wonderful that she would use that. It’s important, especially after the awful
experience of the Olympic gymnasts.
Those stories,
both Evelyn Yang’s and the gymnasts’, though devastating to many, should not
come as a surprise. I wrote an article about this ongoing problem but also have
personal experience where some of the problems are - and I have been concerned
about this for years.
Years ago –
in 2005 or 2006 – I was speaking to a group of teenagers about preparing as a
patient, when two sisters called their doctor “creepy”. Having only sons, I realized
I really didn’t know what a medical exam should be for girls. First I invited a
gynecologist in to speak to the young people and their parents, and then my own
children’s pediatrician to talk about their expectations in the doctor’s office.
I
learned that children should be alone with their doctor to talk about private
things, yet they can be dressed and they need to know what the exam is about and how it will
be conducted.
With my dear
friend Susan, a high school social worker, we worked with a team to then put
together Teaching Young People to Become I-Patients: “Informed and Involved”. As
early as 2006, we were conducting these 30-minute programs in the high school
where Susan worked, and later in other schools.
Early in the
history of Pulse support groups and as years went on, I received reports from
women who were assaulted by their doctors. In meetings, or even social events,
when people found out what I did, they shared their stories.
Out
of curiosity, I went into a police station and asked the officer behind the
desk what they would do if a woman was sexually assaulted by her doctor. The
officer said they don’t “handle that” and she would need to go to the
Department of Health. I didn’t pursue it and dropped it.
One day, I
was with a doctor in his office during an exam and he did something completely
inappropriate. I was stunned and angry and was absolutely violated. I left in
complete shock, never spoke about it, and never went back. Like many women, I
never shared this because who would care? What proof did I have? I just never
went back and found out later that the doctor was no longer with that
practice. Maybe someone else was braver than I was?
A
few years later, I was to go for a checkup and saw a doctor I had never seen
before. This was not to be a major exam and though I am rarely, if ever asked
to remove all my clothing, this doctor did ask that. I assumed nothing, and
even though I was not comfortable, I did what was asked. Again, what
happened in that room was an absolute violation and assault. I pushed him away,
got dressed and never went back again. I also never spoke about it again. I
was shocked not only because of what happened but because I was nervous about
being “disrespectful” to a physician. Both experiences were long ago and I still
wonder who I could have ever told, that would have mattered and made a
difference.
I am a
survivor of rape (multiple times - same attacker) that happened while back in
high school. In that case there were witnesses and the attacker admitted what
he did. A few years later, I became involved in developing the local county’s rape
crisis hotline. I was trained to take calls, meet victims in the emergency room
and even follow them through the court system. This was in the early 80s, and I
saw how victims were treated if it wasn’t an obvious assault. It always seemed
that it was a bother to the police and the healthcare team if there wasn’t
“proof”.
So, why is it
important to me - for me - to share this now? Because for those who need to
report sexual assault by someone who may be uncooperative — whether it’s a
celebrity, a priest or a clinician — there needs to be a place in each
community that can track these reports and be sure they are followed up. If someone reports to the police that they
were “touched” inappropriately by a clinician, will the patient be made to
prove that is inappropriate when the patient willingly removed their clothing?
I know what
exams are supposed to be like only because I have had numerous exams where I
felt I was being treated respectfully. I still don’t know what is correct or
not. Only what seems appropriate.
At Pulse, we have
programs that do this, such as PACC where we encourage people to talk about their
experiences. Years ago, working with a support group of people who are
transgender, I opened a conversation about their exams. The differences were
incredible. No one seems to know what to expect.
Healthcare
professionals need to stop saying things like “no one wakes up in the morning
wanting to hurt
someone.” That is obviously not true and is an excuse for cover up.
Programs
need to be set up where people can learn to be patients and know what to
expect.
A system
needs to be set up in every county to record incidences of abuse by clinicians and
to support people who are not sure.
I
welcome your comments and feedback.
