Why is Being an Ally Important?
Why is being an ally important
to the LGBT community or any community that needs a voice?
I remember when I did a
program at a hospital about sensitivity of working with people who have various
disabilities such as using a walker or in a wheelchair. During the open discussion someone in senior
leadership said that they don’t have enough staff to work with people “like
that. “They” take extra time and the
rooms are not meant to accommodate their equipment.
If I were in a wheelchair, I’m
confident that those words would never have been spoken. If you think that’s good, I disagree. They need to be spoken and discussed. If that VP carried her feelings out of the
room and to her staff, it would be a ripple effect and the negative comments
and feelings would reach a patient – somewhere.
Now that this is on the table we were able to discuss it, find the
appropriate words she can share with her staff (who may feel the same way) and
then make accommodations and plan appropriately. The elephant in the room needs to come out
for discussion and to learn what to do.
Keeping this bottled up helps no one.
The same with people who are
gay or lesbian or transgender. A bearded
woman may make someone feel uncomfortable but isn’t it her right to grow a
beard? In healthcare it does matter
because when toileting or body parts that are different on a male or
female. Should healthcare professionals
ask men and women (who are presenting as one or the other) their last menstrual
cycle, if they are pregnant or if they have had a prostate exam? I know of a transgender woman asked her last
menstrual cycle in an emergency room and instead of coming “out” she gave a
date.
When people have been
frustrated over questions and mistakes in pronouns their whole life or people
who may seem insensitive to needs, it is the ally who can step up and help with
the questions and education.
Yes, I will go to the bathroom
with you and gently tell someone to mind their own business if they comment
while you get angry.
Yes, I will help you with your
wheelchair and ask people to give you room in the hallway. I will help you with
your English or help get you an interpreter.
I understand that my friend doesn’t read well and I will help with the
consent forms or admission packet. As an
ally, there are many places we can step up and help. We need to be open to learning from those who
want us, what they want from us and then do it.
To those who are living in
the world that I don’t know or understand, I ask you to be patient and remember
each person you meet does not know the lifetime of struggles you have had. We make mistakes and may seem inconsiderate
because we don’t know. If you shut us
out in your frustration, we will never understand each other.
